Though there is also, of course, much to recommend the humble comma: the average sentence (not that I wish to imply that a sentence should content itself with merely being average) could be much improved by the addition of one or two, possibly more, of these handy little beasts. I'm sure it says more about them - poor, unenlightened souls - than it does about me for some reason, in particular, very few people understand what a wonderful punctuation mark the semi-colon is, and that it can, and very often should, be used to replace the period. I have, for some reason, frequently been recommended Lynne Truss's book, though the reason escapes me friends who have been exposed to my academic writing style are particularly prone to do so, and I have grown used to this strange phenomenon. If you ever felt a surge of rage at those who do not understand the difference between contractions, possessives, and plurals, then this book will be like a breath of fresh air for you. It is a witty and entertaining read perfect for those like me who start hyperventilating and breaking out in hives at the misuse of commas, apostrophes, and semi-colons. This book is a must-read for all the grammar and punctuation sticklers out there.
(Should I be seeking therapy for this? The bills will, of course, go to the aforementioned teacher.) “Why did the Apostrophe Protection Society not have a militant wing? Could I start one? Where do you get balaclavas?” And then developed a strong desire to join a militant wing of the Apostrophe Protection Society. And had a very enjoyable few hours reading the creation of a fellow grammar stickler.
But I am ok with being pathetic.) And then I found this book. Ah, never mind, I don't have a valid defense.
In my defense, she is a language teacher. Sometimes I discuss punctuation when I talk to my mother on the phone*. This was the beginning of my grammar vigilante stickler life. This crime landed me on her "black list" for the rest of the year. My transgression - in my wide-eyed seven-year-old innocence I dared to correct my (very Soviet) teacher on her comma placement and a spelling mistake.
I am kicked out of the classroom and sent home with an angry note. The setting is an ordinary Soviet elementary school, first grade. I proudly consider myself a punctuation martyr. Now, instead of peacefully munching, it EATS, SHOOTS, and LEAVES. Bad punctuation can force an innocent animal to live outside the law.
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